EPISODE SUMMARY
Everyone makes a trip to the Hamptons to "see the baby" and enjoy the weekend. George's girlfriend goes topless and everyone sees her chest before he does. "The baby" is the most hideous thing they've ever seen. Elaine is confused when a handsome doctor refers to her as "breathtaking" - the same term he later uses to describe the baby. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap. Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked, after he's just gotten out of the pool, so something isn't as it should be.The Hamptons (Seinfeld)
Plot
The four principal characters travel to the Hamptons to see a baby; they find that the baby is altogether ugly. While on the beach, Kramer finds a filled lobster trap and thinks the catch is his, unaware that it's a commercial lobster trap.
George's girlfriend (Melora Walters) goes sun tanning topless while he goes out to get tomatoes,
and George is seen naked by Jerry's girlfriend Rachel (Melanie Smith), to whom he tries in vain to explain that, having just gotten out of the cold water, he is a victim of penile "shrinkage."
Elaine is thrilled to be described as "breathtaking" by a doctor (guest star Richard Burgi)
until she finds he uses the same adjective to describe the baby. Rachel tells George's girlfriend about his "shrinkage" and she leaves. George gets revenge on Rachel by tricking her into eating lobster, which is not kosher.
Kramer then gets arrested for lobster poaching and must pick up garbage on the side of the road. The working title for this episode was "The Ugly Baby."
Quotes
- George: I never tasted a cough medicine I didn't love.
- George: I think that you think that a certain something is not all that it could be, when, in fact, it is all that it should be… And more! Jane: I'm sure it is. George: Look, you don't understand. There was shrinkage.
- George: Ordinarily I wouldn't mind, but… Jerry: But what? George: Well, I just got back from swimming in the pool. And the water was cold… Jerry: Oh, you mean… Shrinkage. George: Yes. Significant shrinkage. Jerry: So you feel you were shortchanged. George: Yes. I mean, if she thinks that's me, she's under a complete misapprehension. That was not me, Jerry. That was not me.
- George: (upset that Jerry saw Jane topless before him) It's like I'm Neil Armstrong. I turn around for a sip of Tang, and you jump out first!
- Kramer: I saw Jane topless. George: You saw who what?
- Rachel: The train was so crowded; I had to sit in a seat facing the wrong way. Jerry: Oh, I like that. It's like going back in time.
- Kramer: Hey, Jerry, rub some lotion on my back. Jerry: Who are you, Mrs. Robinson? Kramer: C'mon, and I'll rub some on you. Jerry: That's not sweetening the deal.
- Jerry: Is it possible they're just having babies to get people to visit them?
- Jerry: (about topless Jane) George hasn't even seen her yet. Elaine: Why do you think we're getting a sneak preview? Kramer: Maybe she's trying to create a buzz.Elaine: What? Kramer: You know, get some good word-of-mouth going.
- George: This is fantastic. Man, what do we get? Swimming, lobster for dinner!Kramer: I know, it's great. I saw Jane topless.
- Elaine: (about the baby) He was like a Pekinese. Jerry: Yeah, too much chlorine in that gene pool.
- George: (about Jane) I can't believe that you saw her before me. Jerry: Think of me as a doctor. George: Well, how good a look did you get? Jerry: What do you mean?George: Well, if she was a criminal and you had to describe her to a police-sketch artist… Jerry: They'd pick her up in about ten minutes.
- Elaine: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.
- Jerry: Do women know about shrinkage? Elaine: What do you mean like laundry?Jerry: No, like when a man goes swimming afterwards. Elaine: It shrinks? Jerry: Like a frightened turtle! Elaine: Why does it shrink? George: It just does.
- George: I was in the POOL! I was in the POOL!
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